A Month Without Porn

I love pornography.

I think I watch more porn than any of my exes. Combined.

That’s not a lot of exes but, that’s a lot of porn.

So when I checked into my guesthouse in Chiang Mai, Thailand, my next hub for at least a month, I was a bit cranky over the fact that I wouldn’t be able to masturbate to pornography. The place has all my go-to sites blocked!

At first, my initial reaction was “this is terrible”. But in that dramatic way where you separate each word with a period for added emphasis.

This. Is. TERRIBLE.

I tried to turn it around. Switch the negative into a positive.

What was this experience trying to teach me? What could I learn? What’s the takeaway?

Then it dawned on me.

More creation, less consumption.

Porn, by its very nature, is an act of consumption. We view porn. We get off on it. We ejaculate. We orgasm. We spend our time.

Consumption is what drives production, but when you’re on one end of the consumption scale, and not producing anything, the process can become unbalanced.

Are you a consumer or producer?

Too much consumption can feel dirty, and you don’t have to be watching porn to feel it. When we buy too much stuff, we fill our lives with meaningless things that are meant to build a sense of happiness, but are you really happy? With all the branding and marketing telling you what you’re buying into (hint: it’s never the actual stuff they’re selling, but an idea/ideal/dream/lifestyle) you start to fill that void with said stuff.

Want to be healthy and slim? Just buy this cereal. Never mind the fact that it actually has more sugar, which metabolizes as fat.

Consumption can be deceiving. Manufactured.

The same could be true if you perceive women or men as objects, a la Joseph Gordon Levitt’s new movie, Don Jon. If you’re constantly searching for sexual gratification, you’ll never be satisfied and ultimately end up feeling lonely. There’s always more to fuck. More to objectify and use.

It was Fight Club that said:

The things you own end up owning you. It’s only after you lose everything that you’re free to do anything.

When you have less stuff, clutter, and mess, you are free to create whatever you like. Rather than become buried in the consumption cycle, you become an active part of the creation cycle.

Where would you rather be?

What would you rather do?

A month without porn is my chance to focus, commit and concentrate on creating. Creating experiences; recreational romances. Creating sensual pictures for a special person. Creating smut, or erotica writing. Creating new opportunities for myself in my business.

It’s entirely possible to create an erotic fiction in the first quarter. It takes only a 10,000-12,000 word short novella to publish an erotica piece on Amazon for $1. Perhaps this is a gentle nudge to start the process…

Write Your Fantasies

I write my fantasies because in real life, I am very tame when it comes to romance. Writing my fantasies is a safe space to explore without getting too vulnerable with other people in the physical sense. Vulnerable as hell online. In person, I balk. And for now, I’m ok with that (sometimes).

You would think an erotic writer is kinky, sensual and open. There’s a little bit of that too. I’m open and sex positive in theory, but I am quite conservative when it comes to being with partners and actually getting to the bedroom. Once in the bedroom is no problem but getting there is another thing.

I’m a bad slut. I wish I were better.

I wish my flings actually stayed flings and didn’t lead into anything more.
I wish I didn’t get so attached every time I give up my pussy. I wish it weren’t so “complicated”.

But to be fair, the giving up of pussy is a selective process for me. You could say I’m picky, and have standards. There still needs to be a connection, and nothing meaningless.

Maybe erotic writing will help me branch out, too. But first, I need to create…

2 thoughts on “A Month Without Porn

  1. You’re so right about what we own ends up owning us. And to have that level of consciousness where we can choose to be creators when it would be easy to be consumers, it a major shift into a more empowered reality! Thanks Janet!

  2. Ooohhh, I love how you turned it around and are using this as a chance to create. Beautiful! And thank you for the reminder about consumption and stuff… I love de-cluttering and getting rid of old stuff, it feels so freeing and opens up so much space for the NEW 🙂

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