Unfinished

You know when something feels unfinished? As if there was “more” to a relationship ending — some unsaid last chapter that never quite made it to see daylight? It’s tension — one way or both, it doesn’t matter. Like two particles reacting to each other; intimately connected no matter how great a distance apart. Quantum…
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Random Thoughts

A past lover once said to me that I would never find anyone as BIG as him, as if it’d be my last rodeo. It was an egotistically dick thing to say. Nevertheless, I knew he was wrong. My first boyfriend was bigger than him, and I’d find someone bigger; it didn’t necessarily have to…
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The Broken Record

There are some people that just don’t get it. Who will end up repeating again and again, like a broken record. They may even start to say the same damn phrases again and again, like a broken record. Their level of evolution stunted in victim mentality mode. Ignore those people. Live your life in the…
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This. Too. Shall. Pass.

As I write this at 2:30am, I hear a loud dispute of a woman screaming and 3 loud bangs that makes me question her safety or sanity, snapping me out of my own silent tearful tirade, reminding myself that I am blessed. It could be worse. This. Too. Shall. Pass. But right now, my heart…
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Two Stories

I went back to the high desert land of tumbleweeds and sage for the first time in 7 years. It holds nostalgic memories for me. One of anxiety, pain, destruction and rebirth. Ultimately, a land where I do not belong. You can see it in the way that I count 0 minorities–Asians, African Americans, or…
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XX

I am curious about exes. That’s the nature of someone you’ve shared life with for X amount of months or years. I check up on them. I wonder if they’re doing well. I want to know that they are, and I’m happy for their successes, or I want to know that they aren’t and feel…
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Vision

When I started this “blog” I had no clue where I was going. All I knew is that I needed to express. Sometimes, that’s all you need. Vision and “knowing where you’re going” is sometimes overrated. Sometimes, all you need to do is express yourself. That is the measure of a true artist. Not goals…
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50 Shades of Kay

“I like being scratched,” he said. “Fingernails.” I noted his sexual turn-ons as we talked over drinks. “I like being choked.” I replied. “Nothing too hard,” I assured, nervously. “Just enough to feel some tension. I still would like to breathe!” “My girlfriend doesn’t like that. Such a shame. I know exactly what to do.”…
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Finding my Ish

I’m monogamish. I still haven’t figured out what the Ish part means yet, or what that looks like. I need to expand my social network. I go through spouts of outgoing social energy and active spring/summer and long cooped-up days of hibernating fall/winter. Being in a new relationship doesn’t help any when it comes to…
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I Dream of Him

I still dream about my ex sometimes. The Ex. It happens rarely but the point is it happens. Of course, I have many ‘exes’ but when I say the Ex, I mean the only “love of my life” that I thought I’d be with Forever. Back when love was innocent and I could fall for…
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