”You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
As they say, “try before you buy.”
Go on a test drive first.
You’re not objectifying yourself, or the process.
Rather, you’re owning your sextoy prowess.
You don’t have to wine and dine me. Lets cut to the chase.
I hate dating. That is, that much like a job interview, digging for “marriage material” serious bullshit kind of dating. I imagine this to be what being single in your 30s or 40s might look like… Dry and cumbersome with the tick of time.
Marriage is never what I’m looking for. Not consciously. I’m open to the possibility but it’s not the sole reason to get into a relationship (or rather, an entanglement).
What I’m looking for is to have some fun. That’s it.
I’m a hedonist who goes for my desires. If it’s not pleasing, and it’s not fun, then why do it?
The more you know about each other, the more chances you start to clash. “Hate” eachother. Bicker.
The closer you are, the more comfortable you become, the less exciting the relationship is and love and romance start to fizzle. Complacency sets in.
Conversation = complacency.
Words are language but the body moves and its a whole other language on its own.
When the body moves, it’s play, it’s a dance, it’s fun. It’s touch, it’s intimate.
And it’s chemistry.
You’ll be able to tell in an hour.
If it’s not, then you’ll know the rest probably isn’t as well.
How do your bodies communicate with each other? How do you like to play? Rough or gentle? Slow and steady, or fast? Quick or long?
Is there foreplay or is it cut to the chase? Are you selfish, or giving? Is he/she selfish or giving?
Do you add fetish or kink into the mix? Do you like being bitten, choked, slapped, pinched, bound, blindfolded?
What do you do after sex? Do you spend time cuddling naked (my preferred method) or get dressed and go about your day? Surprisingly, some people prefer getting dressed and never cuddle. Those people aren’t for me.
Your body and your movement tells stories. Confidence is good in bed.
Shame, guilt, low self-esteem will prohibit you.
Get rid of your inhibitions and let loose.
Sexual compatibility is one of the most important parts of a relationship, and in my opinion, the most important part. Studies have shown that over 60% of men marry their best sexual lover. Being good in bed together is no joke. If we don’t have chemistry, if we don’t jive, if you’re not good in bed, then there’s no sense continuing the rendezvous.
A Case for Recreational Romance
Casual sex. What extent are you willing to go? One night stands? Friends with benefits? Flings?
When learning how to dance, you’re not going to improve by just dancing with one partner. You need to dance with multiple partners to really feel the groove. With multiple partners, you get a sense of how different people move.
The same is true for sex.
Want practice? Recreational romance is a great way to improve and enhance your abilities. You get a sense of people’s different love styles and can incorporate that exploration into your own techniques. You learn what you like and don’t like. You learn how to take control or communicate what you want more of.
You can use recreational romance to ‘practice’ and enhance a non-monogamous/open relationship and become a better lover.
You can use recreational romance to balance multiple partners as a ‘single’ person in hook-up culture and ‘play the field’.
You can use recreational romance as a nomadic traveler, with natural time limits to your affairs.
Have fun, be safe and explore. Dating and conversation not required.