I’m so adamant about being solo, even when I was in a three-year relationship, I still thought of myself as more like a ‘crazy cat lady’, solo girl than someone who was attached. I was simply playing a role that bored me to tears. Beyond that role, I was happy, so there was nothing “wrong” with the relationship. Except I just didn’t want to be in it… And it took me awhile to accept that, admit it, and realize that was a valid reason to break it off.
That being said, I’m so adamant about sex that I’d rather have a “boyfriend” than be “single” so that I can have consistent sex. “Single and ready to mingle” does not equate in consistent sex with me, and more like a dry spell because I simply hate looking, playing the field, or dating. One of my ex-lovers told me I was a nymphomaniac. I’m not sure if I really am, but now I’m with someone who’s a self-proclaimed “sex addict” (I’m not sure if he really is, either, but the idea is kind of hot). I think between the two of us, we’re a lot to handle (Russell Brand, my spiritual/mental/hairy man-crush was an ex-sex addict and that makes him that much hotter in my eyes).
The thing is, I like sex. A LOT.
I want it a lot.
I like to cum and have messy, wet orgasms, and I like my man to cum inside me while I squeeze his dick with my tight pussy to take him over the edge.
Sex is literally the basis of a good relationship to me. That, and shared visions/goals sort of come with the territory, as I seem to attract fellow non-religious, spiritual/scientific minded intelligent men with little regard for materialism and enough regard for their own health/body that they take care of themselves and look physically good. In my ideal relationship, both partners would treat their body as their temple and keep in good physical condition so as to increase/enhance their sex life and be optimal human beings. That’s not shallow, that’s selfless and makes good lifestyle sense. Both people would just “get it”. I don’t believe in “letting yourself go” just because you get married and don’t have to try anymore. Bullshit. Life is all about trying and making the most of yourself and your situation. You’re not truly LIVING if you don’t keep learning, evolving and have FUN.
I’m so adamant about being “solo” that I can get carried away about being “independent”. Not wanting to be “serious” or “tied down” or “committed”, but I deny myself the very real fact that I AM passionate about sex, love, and relationships. Another score for “walking contradiction”.
If I’m passionate about sex, love, and relationships then having sex, love and relationships in my life are a top priority. I need to own this, instead of insisting that I prefer being “solo”, because it’s more multi-faceted than that.
I want a man who is as passionate about sex, love, and relationships as I am. I want a “relationships” man. Not someone who values independence over partnership. I want someone who’s ready to be in it with me. Not in a major, serious way. But in whatever way it wants to evolve, regardless of the labels that inevitably get involved.
I want someone who is romantic. Who is a lover and a giver. Who cooks for me. Who likes to cook together with me. Who celebrates romance and dating even after they “get me”. It’s important to date your significant other, no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in. It’s important to show gratitude.
I write a blog about sex. Love and relationships naturally follow suit. I read tons of articles about sex, love and relationships. Being a sensual and passionate lover is important to me. I just have to admit and OWN that sex, love, and relationships is a big part of my life. I’m a relationships kind of girl. I don’t have to stoically tell myself that being single is better and insist that I stay that way…
That’s blowing my mind right now.
And I’m getting mind-blowing sex to boot.
The thing is, all I need is mind-blowing sex. I want a boyfriend not so that we can merge our lives together and be “serious”, but because I simply want mind-blowing sex. That’s it. Sometimes, I think it’s shallow but really, it’s simple. That is all I require. I don’t feel I need to merge my life or ‘pair bond’ with anyone beyond the physical aspect, but I’m open to it evolving. I’m also open to it devolving and ready to move on when I decide to do my classic disappearing act and move to another country/state/location. I’m not in the best of moods to “follow” a guy nor am I in the best of moods to have anyone follow me.
Life is ultimately lived on your own, and I am my own primary self. Solo.